The Holiday season can be a source of stress for many single moms. I don’t want that to be you this year. Here are a few tips to help you get through the season without dread.
1. Get rid of your expectations. Yes, I said it. We build up this season with all the pomp, decorations, comparison, and hype which all just makes us feel worse when we don’t measure up. Forget the social media perfect pics, forget Pinterest. This year celebrate YOUR way, what works for YOUR family. I promise you, your kids are going to love it no matter what.
2. Be ok with being alone. Make a plan now for the times that the kids will be gone, or asleep, or at a friend or family member’s house. Don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself. It’s ok to be sad if you’re alone but you can choose to look at that free time as a blessing. You could take a nap, read a book, watch your favorite movie without interruptions. This is the part where you get to do the things you said you would do if you had time. Now take the time.
3. Gift-giving. I have seen so many single moms, myself at one time included, stress so much about not having enough money for presents. We want to give our everything they want! But we can’t. Remember what I said earlier about expectations? It falls here. You do what you can, not what you feel guilted to do. When my oldest was 3, he got army men and a deck of cards and some clothes that he needed. He LOVED those gifts! He said thank you a hundred times and went to playing with them non-stop for months. He took them everywhere with him. Did I feel awful for getting him dime store gifts? You bet. What a terrible mother was I! Except I wasn’t. He loved those gifts and I was able to give him something he enjoyed with the little money I had. Don’t let your thoughts on how things should be, determine how your kids will feel.
4. Making new memories. I know how loud the fanfare can be with the commercials, the ads, the flyers in the mail. It seems inescapable. Every time without fail a kid will say “Mom I want that! Mom, Mommy, did you hear me? MOM!!!” Then there’s the older kids with their page long list of all the latest and greatest. Since my kids were little, I was determined to make “our” memories. Meaning, not the extended family, but our little family, the ones that would make them come back home every year as adults. Our tradition started on Thanksgiving. I usually had to work during the day so we never really went anywhere. I would come home and make Oncor frozen turkey and gravy, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole. And pumpkin pie. After we ate we would decorate the tree. At Christmas time, I always worked the Eve so I could have the Day off to visit my family. I didn’t have time when I got home to make a big elaborate meal for just the 4 of us, so we started a buffet style traditions of munchies. We had chips and dip, cheese and crackers, nachos, pigs in a blanket and it just grew over the years. Then they got to open the BIG gift that always came from me. If their gift didn’t have them running to their rooms, we would sit together and watch movies. Now, as adults, and adding my stepkids, they all come back every Christmas Eve, even bringing their significant others.
Let this Holiday season be the one where you do what YOU want, you make the memories YOU think are important. Don’t go another year letting yourself be so stressed out. Go into the season with the mindset of fun, ease, enjoyment.
I would love to hear about your special traditions! Email me at hello@successandthesinglemom.com. Tell me all about the things your family does to celebrate!
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